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Spanish Armada (Songs of Love and Related Neuroses)

by Mark Lint

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1.
Psalm 01:18
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I don't know if I've ever felt Such love brought down and swiftly knelt To depths pervade and meanings dealt With highest glint, unending Swell - ter Touching that which heaven dealt her Lend my hands to gently melt her Strengthening her spell until It's coalesced into my will So let My space extend around us Creatures of the room that found us Locked as One in firm embrace As Love dissolves the human race
2.
I Die Desire 02:41
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I die desire I see require I need, I care, I fall, I fare fairly well It's just my mind's in hell Heart on my sleeve, leaving a stain And I don't know how I'll deal with the strain If the future gets warlike, I hope there's a truce For now I'm defending, remaining abstruce I'm chuckin' a torch down each blind alley Following through with a mental drain Getting back on the road that I've never been off of Licking the wounds that I've gouged in my brain Does it sound insane? I've long lost count of the mental "I love you"'s Guess I don't say them too much any more Maybe I'd like to just start it all up again Maybe that's what I've been singing this for I die desire I see require I need, I care, I fall, I fare, I eat those who approach my lair I live, I die, it's only fair, I fare... fairly well
3.
A Few Gone Down 03:28
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Open a riverboat; stay away Take out a circus float; it's your day Market to everything in your way Fail to philosophize Maybe they'll think you're wise anyway Don't mind a few gone down, a few gone down Don't pay them attention; they'll think that you care And they'll never leave you alone Don’t mind them, just move on; just move on Gesture within to what you have sown Gesture without to what you will own Don't mind me shakin', as I shiver to the bone. Move on to better things Record what the movement brings, you're alone
4.
Waygo 03:22
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While still in Waygo I dusted my eyes And pulled out the wolves with my fingers And tasted their lies It started to hit me That clandestine light And sooner than angels I spoke to the night I knew of the wall phone I'd heard of the thing that shows your face I wanted to use them To push my way through miles of open space I could feel myself ticking And I knew that before the year was out I'd be able to tell you, really tell you What this scratching's all about Just a feeling of something semi-charged With a mixture of nothing, glee, and lust Pushed its way to my window, through and over See me submit myself to trust Someone's bleeding me somewhere But it's easy to see that I don't care 'Cause I know what's the matter with my thinking. I've been over it far and long enough to dare To say nothing in defense o What I am or I've become To malign this a testing, or an epitaph, Or a sinking and the aftermath Now I'm gone One more catch phrase done Sing a symbol to calm you with my thinking To let you know you've won But you could try fishing Or spackle the den Get rid of your hunger And count up to ten Or you could try nothing And just let me in Kiss me in effigy, darlin' Don't stop to begin Babe, you are my godhead And I am your son Let's live the disguised and decayed inner meaning Of some perversion While still in Waygo I dusted my eyes G And sooner than angels I said my goodbyes
5.
Call on You 03:19
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Through the night I lie awake Staring into darkness Eternal gloom Don't know much at all At least I can call I can call on you Lay it all on you I wish that I could leave you But that will never be true I will always call on you I will call on you Lay it all on you Please just come and sit with me That's all that I can ask If you won't let me touch you In your presence I will bask
6.
I Wanna Go Back 04:52
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I wanna go back with you Back to where I made sense with you Won't be totally dense with you Be a little less tense with you I wanna go back I wanna go Dangerously caught up in our self-inflicted ties Some display the tendency to intellectualize Some understand why this feeling's got to end The more I sleep the more I know that I'm not one of them Feverless to loneliness, I lesson (lessen) back again Always within inches of a self-revolving pen Steam within reach is another call away But I watch it fade to silence as I tell you I'm okay I wanna stay on with you Spend a bit of a yawn with you Could be totally gone with you God, I wanna move on with you I wanna go back I wanna go Wonder why, ipso I don't know Petrified, ipso I don't know You decide, ipso I don't know Innocent the witness Never gonna lose Distance is impressive But it's not the thing to choose I know I'm done with you I should move on with you Now that I'm gone with you I should be done with you
7.
Facts for a Moment (What You Are to Me) 02:47
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What you are to me Is a slight pull on my forehead A slight tension in my chest A pressure on my neck A lengthy but distracted rest What you seem to be Is a face that brings out tears Hair that makes me choke A tickle in my ears Some ghost in my imagination Made very very real Something I can feel Vaguely What you and I should be Standing up without support Bound but not together Free while still together Bound but not forever So much in one package So much more to say I love you
8.
I Haven't Found You Yet 04:43
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I haven't found you yet Don't now if I will One thing I don't quite get Is how it used to fill me up To see her walking See her breathing see here anywhere When that was so wrong She was so wrong for me But perfect nonetheless I haven't found you get I don't know where you are I take what I can get And hope I'm not off by far Will you Appear before me someday only I may never concede again to these romantic thoughts Am I really so blind to think them? Can I really be brought to believe them? Can I really afford to lose them? Will you Appear before me someday only Appear unto me, I'm so lonely Will you appear before me someday Please be soon I'll recognize you I will I'll recognize you somehow
9.
Volcano 02:13
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I finally found a volcano Erupting out in snow Finally met a triumphant Showed me where to go I'm finally stark in the race room Startin' front you know I finally locked up my brain's tomb
10.
Call on You II 00:58
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This is just a side note This is not a song Here's the situation Forever going wrong This is not a mistake This is something else Something necessary To all pursuit of health Let me call on you
11.
Summer Suite Introduction: Indiscretion (Mess Things Up) 03:07
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Don't know quite what I should say But I do know what I should not At the times when things get this way I'm usually thinking a lot So I inevitably talk too much Out of fear of being unreal Despite the desire for a human touch I think we control what we feel So I'm not saying it's gone too far Or that the set-up is making me weak Though overreactive, I feel strong I will not become meek Of course I like you, how could I not? What with the way we get along and all I think about you, how could I not? And I don't want to mess things up I couldn't want you to change your ways It's not my place, I know I'd be thrilled just to keep these days But it's moving forward; should I stop it? I should not ask, but I must know If you're as confused as what you show As how I feel: alive and well I hope that this won't break that spell And no one gets hurt So I'm not saying it's got to change But I had to get out what was in Whether indiscretion or honesty You should know that you're under my skin Of course I like you, how could I not? What with the way we get along and all I think about you and him you've got And I don't want to mess things up
12.
Sleep (Summer Suite Version) 03:21
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Foregone conclusions Carry us now Take my illusions No use for them now Stroke by the lamplight Care through me Carefully highlight Each memory Sleep -- I sleep for you now Sweep beyond distance And if she's alone Take with you solace Let mine be her own Hold this token In place of me Let it be broken You shall be free Don't seek abstractions Take what you feel Mark my reaction Say that you're real Some wiser, so close Will that disappear? One for us next time Mark off next year
13.
Summer Suite Intermission Song 08:37
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14.
But I Won't 03:41
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Want to hold you inside out Want to see you finish first Like doubts ago but worse Want a new cause Want to breathe through you Take my leave through you But I won't I will gather if you fall apart I will practice the role you assign But don't be surprised If you see in my eyes Something radiate stronger Than you feel applies Something radiate through you Should that point arise I'll be ready Want to fold you through my heart Want to see you do your worst Believe me 'till it hurts Follow me gone Though I feel like hell for wanting you Could increase this spell by taunting you Make you feel so swell by haunting you Make the whole thing gel by daunting you I love you
15.
Whatever Makes You Happy 02:35
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Whatever makes you happy I will perform Whatever gets you goin' Whatever keeps you growin' Whatever leaves you knowin' You did what's right And I will be there Though I'm half conscious 'Cause I know you care Won't be obnoxious And I will be there Though it hurt me one more time And I will be there Though it kill me one more time Just be okay If I'm in the way, I won't stay
16.
Don't Forget Where You Are 02:52
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So much to say to you But the will in me is gone You need time, and I need you I'm not about to move on But if I should hold my tongue To put us more on par Remember what I wish for you Just don't forget where you are You know I care for you I've said it fifty times Take this as an effort to Atone for some of my major crimes If you want, I'll take these words And store them in a jar But don't forget what I wish for you And don't forget where you are
17.
Summer Suite Finale 07:29
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Don't know quite what I should say I think I've said enough Am I losing you? I don't know quite what I should say If nothing can change your mind But I like it the way that it is Even though it may kick me behind I wish you well But I love you much more Or could you tell? Or is my language too poor? Should I be more explicit In the things that I do? Or would you just miss it If I started to act more like you? Ah, the dictates of loneliness, damn Are a master that's so hard to shake Let me state for the record, my dear What I lack the endurance to fake I wish you the moon and a forest And some sun in your four-hour day I wish you eternally happy But I'm glad just to know you're okay I wish you your breed of perfection A cute yellow lab just like Duke I wish for you so much affection It would make a lesser man puke I wish you greatness and power And more than an hour with me I could stream past your marks of perfection If only you'd listen to me Understand that I never would hurt you I will not desert you If I know I'm under your skin I will wander the earth in the search For some way to get in I will send you my body and soul In installments by mail I will run with you I will call on you We will see eye to brain If you'll let me through Understand me, you Hold the key to my pain I will call up the Spanish Armada To protect you from me 'Cause I won't touch those soft spots again In caressing you, babe, just say when I can't believe that with one foolish slip I could mess things way up past repair Can you hear in the tone of my breathing I'd give it all up to be there with you [Redacted], my love to the grave Or at least to the edge of despair God, I miss you so much I can taste it Please let me know part of me's there Am I losing the best thing that's happened Since mankind discovered the verb? I will do it for you, my unfaithful 'Cause actions are heavy And words come too easy for me I would lose them for you I love you
18.
Postscript: Last Song for You 05:40
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Did you mean what you said When you said that you liked what I gave you Much more than you ever liked me? Did you want what you seemed to want When you wanted to hold me and never say goodbye Did you feel what you felt When you felt something in you Was answered by what was in me? These things you implied Or was it just me? I felt so close to you But I guess I could see How you might have been blocking things Like you're blocking me And I almost bought it When you tried to be casual I did it too for a few days at least But now I recall what you were or I'm starting Move you within you I'll meet you when you do too I hear you The way you were then Have you moved on? Am I still your friend? By cleansing, by crying I send you myself I pray that you'll meet me Or see me or greet me Or want me so much that you'll rupture yourself I'll be there to heal you Did you mean what you said When you said I was no one That you could ever take seriously? I guess that you didn't Or more that you wouldn't And what do or how I feel has no hold I abused it, I guess Overused it, I guess Your resistance is strong And grows stronger with each passing breath What can I do To get your attention To be re-forgiven To draw you unto me To pull you within me To just spend the day with you Let me come play with you To help me calm down To put my arms 'round To make you remember To help you discover Whatever it was that made you let me in? I pray you'll come me Or see me or greet me Or want me so much that you'll think for yourself I'll be there to feel you

about

Some songs that I wrote during college just didn't seem like they'd be improved by having my bandmates noodle over them, and even with some band songs (2, 3, and 4), I had well established, substantially different solo versions that I would play out on the U. of Michigan diag or at open mic nights at the Ark, Ann Arbor's folk club.

Building on that foundation, after graduating, I then wrote the second half of this album (the "Summer Suite") as real-time documentation of the romance I was pursuing. (I also wrote a semi-autobiographical novel called "Tripe" at the time that this can be seen as the soundtrack for.) I recorded those songs as well as most of the others here and mixed everything to complete this album in late 1993.

This release includes a newly mixed final bonus track, that wasn't written until after the album's cassette release, but was clearly still part of the same song cycle.

I remixed tracks 4, 11, 14, and 16 from the source guitar and vocal tracks in the intervening years. As of now in September 2022, I've remastered everything for this release, removing the plosives and as much of the hiss as possible, raising the levels, usually brightening the EQ, and sometimes adding some very light reverb. But for the most part, you're still hearing what I did at the time with the limited resources at my disposal. Moreover, since the guitar and vocal were recorded at the same time and so bled onto each other's tracks, there was no question of fixing my bad pitches or replacing faulty guitar notes. Hopefully, the flaws are part of the charm, but you tell me!

credits

released December 20, 1993

I wrote all these songs and made all of the sounds you'll hear which are mostly just nylon-string guitar and voice, mostly recorded live-to-tape, except for 1, 7, 8, and 9 which were similarly acoustic studio things that I had sitting around. Steve Petrinko played percussion on 8.

Cover drawing by Geoff Rowland.

Thanks to Steve Petrinko, Errol Siegel, and Gary Thomas for equipment loans.

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Mark Lint Madison, Wisconsin

Catchy, homespun tunes ranging in style from power pop to folk ballads to alt country, laced with a sense of the absurd.

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