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Mark Lint & the Fake Johnson Trio

by Mark Lint

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1.
Woe Is Me 03:13
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I say unto you get down here And I’ll crawl through that monument And if you could, laugh things up the same way And if you could, please decide That if you should leave my side We’ll be the bastards on the same day Woe is me I assume that destiny will poke me in the eye But I'll try I say unto you it’s nothing And I fall through you every night And I’m willing to ask you out the same day And if you believe I died Then you can receive my guide Consider me masking out the same way Woe is me I have seen my destiny; it spit and passed me by But I'll try I extol this messed-up me and kiss you to the sky I control the rest of me and love you by and by I'll try
2.
Retrogress 03:35
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Now cut out that crap! Don't listen to that Don't put on that album; don't put on that hat You've got a new life now: you know where you're at You should be obsessive, but not over that And I know It's tempting to retrogress when things get slow Just give it a week and a half or so Don't do anything rash yet You own your emotions; you pick what you feed You fight with your conscience or just do the deed You hit and you squander, fold up like a fan Keep acting your age, but don't act like a man And I know It's tempting to retrogress when things get slow Just give it a month and a half or so Don't do anything rash yet And I know It's tempting to retrogress when you feel low Just give it a year and a half or so Don't be pathetic So take care of your illness way after the fact Get that out of your mouth now and don't put it back You don't need to dredge that up to screw up your day You're perfectly miserable in your own way
3.
Stupidly Normal 02:44
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You may be beautiful, but I'm not interested Because I've got a beaming baby And she's got a gleaming blade And I'd regret it if I lost my head for you I wouldn't smile at me if I were wise Because I'm not the newest model that has yet to be worn out I'm just leaking like a jerk who will atone I'm just living out of work as well as home Just being stupidly normal; hope I leave you well alone You may be beautiful, but I won’t tell you ‘Cause I’m not the kind of guy Who would do more than think the wrong way Did you know that I’m recovered Far enough to take the strong way I'm just leaking like a jerk who will atone I'm just living out of work as well as home I'm just leaking admiration; I appreciate your act I'm just seeking admiration by distortion of the fact That 'm so happy with my beaming baby blue And I'd regret it if I screwed her up for you You may be beautiful, but I would warn you I wouldn't notice me at all
4.
No Mind 04:45
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Grab the juicer and take my heart Pull the head that you want to start I don’t know if you speak my tongue Put a leg out, and I will come No mind Pull the muscle to see it’s real Roll your eyes back, and watch you feel Roll yourself our open to the breeze Shift serenely as your partner starts to wheeze Then disconnect me for doin’ what you please “Mr. Blue Sky, I’m comin’ your way” She said before she knocked me out I believe me more than you when we say That we know what pain’s about It’s not a contest, she said, I know But I’ve got a swollen head Paranoia, it sings to me And I’m better off in bed Ice a month off until it’s warm Sulk until you’re in proper form Do you think that she’ll stick around? Maybe this time we’ll miss the ground Almost
5.
Cool Down 03:30
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So you think you're in love, but that wasn't enough, apparently Ah, she must have misjudged to let you go through that stuff, apparently When the tryst is made and she wants to cool down Will your feelings fade if you drag them around? Or is there some way back? Can you cool down this time? Cool down Well, you know that she cared But you shouldn't have dared so excessively Maybe you should be scared Don't let all that you've shared be the death of me When her whims have passed and she wants to cool down Will your feelings last if you kick them around? Or is there some way out? Can you cool down this time? Cool down It doesn't matter what you said you would lose You've released what you've given But you don't have to choose to leave it Just cool down I wouldn't take you seriously anyway Have you had enough? Then cool down Just cool down I must say that you're looking surprisingly sane You must be getting accustomed to seething in pain You're almost normal When her choice is made and she wants to cool down Will your feelings fade or will they drag you down? Or is there someway through? I wouldn't take you seriously anyway Have you had enough? Then just stop killing yourself, boy, and cool down Just cool down
6.
Wonderful You 02:06
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And I'm complaining the nothing away And everything I love says it's planning to stay with me Except you Everything will stay except you Wonderful you And I'm convinced that the worst part is done 'Cause I believe that the world is swell, and there's good in everyone And I know that it's one of those times when I have to step back And stop consciousness here 'cause I just don't believe you won't stay
7.
Weirdo 03:28
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Welcome back, my poverty I feel so full now I'm empty And who is lost this time around? It's all in place it's just I've found That hole in me the sun shines through And warms me up to sweat anew We could call it agitation We could call it a renewal We could gnaw at my bit again 'till we bite this thing through And I'm crawling on my feet again I could steal that flush and overspend And it's all my pagination It's a toy I could chew Feeling strong enough for me Indulgence in the armory To boredom strike my enemy Will lay me down and work for free To hasten that which drives around and stares for days and days I've paid that bastard overtime, and now we've parted ways Call me a weirdo, but I won't mind Call me a weirdo, ah-oo Call me a weirdo; that's just fine And I'm crawling up steam again And I'm high feeling mean again I kicked my car, it's in the shop It'll be there for days and days and days I could call it affirmation I think that might ring true It could call me back every half an hour or so Screaming "I love you!" And we could billow up to there And you could breathe me through your hair And I'm positive it's fast enough To relieve us both from all that stuff
8.
Slightly Bitter 03:06
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I’m sending this to you to tell you that I got engaged today I thought that you should know I’m out of action and will stay that way I hope you’re getting all that you need Even though you’re furthermore quite guaranteed that I’ll be Slightly bitter everlastingly Something still fucked up inside of me Stuff since then transpired quite normally Still I bear a grudge informally You! Ach! I’m sending this to you to tell you that I don’t give up easily It’s such an effort, though, to even think of you believably Much less to keep reaching out to you with no reciprocation to speak of I’ve given all my best, and now I need a life’s vacation Being slightly bitter everlastingly Something still fucked up inside of me Stuff since then transpired expectedly Crushing plans made unprotectedly You! Ach! You should have called me when it counted Or believed that we amounted To more than the remnants of your other life back in civilization I’m sending this to you to haunt you along with all the rest of me Just keep believing what you want to, and live your fucked up destiny Being slightly bitter everlastingly At me for doing what you asked of me But you’re the dopey one who passed on me And now you’re part of last catastrophe You!
9.
A Few Gone Down 03:29
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Open a riverboat; stay away Take out a circus float; it's your day Market to everything in your way Fail to philosophize Maybe they'll think you're wise anyway Don't mind a few gone down, a few gone down Don't pay them attention; they'll think that you care And they'll never leave you alone Don’t mind them, just move on; just move on Gesture within to what you have sown Gesture without to what you will own Don't mind me shakin', as I shiver to the bone. Move on to better things Record what the movement brings, you're alone
10.
Time Alone 03:19
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Home to get my mind together Time away is good to some extent I can’t compose my thoughts without you Put me on the spot, I’ll pay you rent Repetition makes me dizzy The same shit comes around, ‘cause we don’t change much I’ll be driven less than busy Time alone enables one to arrange such Home to let my mind be scattered Sit among the stuff that came before you Lacksidaising less than centered Though certainly aware that I adore you You can’t expect me to say the right thing every time we talk I don’t expect that I’ll think the right thing ever I love you, and you know it, but I’m practicing my walk And I expect we’ll be like this forever Home again to sleep without you All this will dissolve into the past I’ll be saying something stupid To test you from a point descending fast And when it’s gone, I’ll drop unto you You’re the only home I need or have Time alone has taught me well but...
11.
Friend 03:40
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We do what we have to do, so there’s never anything to say I’d tell you I’m mad at you, but it doesn’t matter anyway Eternally defensive you I’ll perceive you as I do It doesn’t matter what you say I don’t know what I want to do, and I feel pretty much burnt out I wish I was dead like you, but no one wants to buy my life I can’t exaggerate like you, and I don’t stop to think things through Yeah, I miss you now, but fuck you ‘Cause you’re no one I could talk to Without stepping on your nerves I really don’t feel the differences that slip into my words It’s too confusing to conceal, and what I want ain't me I know I’ve always said too much, but my advice is free But you understand the rest I’m subject to those needs Walk those critters then They’re following each other’s leads (May you be with you, dragging behind you) I must say as I walk through here That I’d rather not be there I’m happy with what I’ve got, and it’s more than you are anyway I say that we celebrate the end And maybe someday you’ll be my friend There’s some stuff we should talk around that bend If we bother to carry you around If we bother to clean up every sound If we bother to be offended
12.
The Villa 05:06
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Come and take the villa That settles on the violent and cold Pehora river Which is south of Noryan I'd be glad to come and show you Some things that I've picked up Since I last was here to show you I was way past gone And I know the fiends have gotten to you. I'm so mean they've gotten to you. Do you know the way to kill to carry on Tempt us to each other with the deepest future headache or bless you, fairy mother, I would lose your design. I've a fever for that dress of yours -- the one without the back -- For the file of flesh mistaken for the touch of what's mine Come and take the villa That settles on the violent and cold Pehora river Which is south of Noryan I'd be glad to sit there with you and try to pick you up If I can, I’d like to show you that I’ve moved way on
13.
I'm Gonna Steal Yo' Woman 02:39
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I'm gonna steal your woman Because I feel like it today And after I've wrecked your life Maybe I'll throw her away I'm gonna steal your woman Because I can, you know it's true By being such a worm, you've blown your turn Now thanks to me it's through And there's nothing you can do Or you'd have done it long ago I'm gonna snatch her clean from you 'Cause you can't make her happy, she's just not happy You're being replaced, 'cause you work crappy So cry and fade away I'm gonna steal your woman I'm unrepentant 'cause I'm right Although you were notified, you slept right through the fight I'm gonna steal your woman No offense, well, maybe some Because you treated her like you deserve Now read the profits, chum I'm gonna steal your woman Because I feel like it today And after I've wrecked your life Maybe I'll throw it away I'm gonna steal your woman Just to mess your head You'll gasp for air, but I won't care 'Cause we're both long since dead
14.
I Like Life 04:31
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If you should love me, I'll take it in stride If you should go on down to hell, I'll come along for the ride If my face should hit a tree, and twist my nose to one side Even if you're mean to me, I won't be denied I like life Anyway I can get it I like to kiss it on the mouth I like life Even if you're not in it So don't you worry for me There's something ahead and I won't let you know How I lie in my bed like a Groanin' Ill Joe And I wish I was dead like I wish you were mine But I'll get over that in due infinite time Get me out of this town; get me out of this room Get me out of my life now before it's too soon I just know I'll wake up, and the nightmare will end And I'll find someone else and start at it again If you should love me, I think I could tell If you should swoon at the sound of my name, I'd change it to Mel And if you cursed every word from my lips and corrupted my dog Though I'd miss those delicate hips, it's not worth gettin' bogged And though every time we tremble as we attempt to talk I've got time to disassemble our love on the chopping block I like life...
15.
The Greatest F'in Song in the World 03:02
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Darlin', wow I'd say you're useless now But I'll carry on somehow Suck on this Darlin', mine You'd be my valentine But now you're not even fine Here, suck on this I remember And I proudly desecrate I'm finding the strength to hate What's making me want to die No I won't I won't turn it on myself And I don't think I need your help And you couldn't give it anyway, 'cause you're much too slow And you move it a tepid half-life stuffed with grotesque amounts of self-deception Glaring and obvious inconsistencies And a general non-confrontationalism laced with fear and anti-intellectualism Behind a thin and embarrassing facade that you call values Darlin', wow You seem mighty useless now Whyn't you come on up and take a bow And suck on this Darlin', why? When you had this whole damn guy But you didn't even care enough to try Such on this

about

The Fake Johnson Trio was envisaged as a solo vehicle after my move to Austin in the fall of 1994. The name of the band has to do with the bad-ass stance of being a rock and roller, something that is pretty foreign to me, but I did want to create something that would could blend into the alternative rock scene of the day.

After recording an initial demo as an actual trio with drum and bass behind my nylon-string guitar, both of my bandmates quit, and a full band of my friends from Ann Arbor where I'd gone to college moved down in the latter half of '95 and became my new backing band. This most importantly included Errol Siegel, who added distorted lead guitar and plenty of solos over my acoustic, and also acted as general band manager and producer.

Acquiring musicians as a group is a tricky business, and the keyboardist, drummer (Matt), and bassist (Lee) gradually quit over the next year (a few of their performances made it to these recordings). Bryan Breaux was the replacement drummer, and I captured some of him as well on this, with my old bandmate Steve Petrinko back in Ann Arbor doing a few as well. Errol eventually quit in early '97, making this again basically a solo project, though he was good enough to come and record a bit more after that.

Most of the album was recorded during the summer of '97, with some sessions as early as X-mas '95 and final overdubs running all the way to late spring '98. Dave Hamilton, who finished the drums, was a member of my next band, Mark Lint and the Fake, and all three of those guys (Dave, Jamie Nichols, and Sam Ray) helped serve as extra ears as I was mixing these into March '99, with Steve Petrinko then mastering.

credits

released May 19, 1999

Mark Linsenmayer did the lead singing and played all the classical guitar parts, most of the bass parts, and the occasional filler electric guitar. Errol Siegel played all the main electric guitar parts.

The drums were played by Dave Hamilton (on 4, 5, 8, 10, 11, and 14), Steve Petrinko (on 1, 9, 13, and 15), Bryan Breaux (on 3, 7, and 12), and Matt Miller (on 2 and 6). Percussion was by Dave except on the bridge of 12, which was by Steve. Lee Abramson played bass on 1, 2, 6, and 14, while Doug Anthony played it on 15 and the bridge of 12. Hal Thorsrud played keys on 8 and 12, while Cliff Kaminsky played them on 13.

Backing vocals: Richard White, Steve Petrinko, Alaeatha Carr, Bryan Breaux, Brett McHague, Colin Burt, Todd Love, Russ Somers, Scott Kelley, Bradley Scott Berman, Dave Hamilton, Cliff Kaminsky, Kevin Christopher (aka Brown), Patrick Donahue, Errol Siegel, Mark, and Stoobie.

Produced/engineered by Mark, except 1, 6, and 14, which Errol did most of. Steve and Bryan recorded their own drum parts.

Tracks 2 and 5 were re-sung and re-mixed by Mark in 2013 and 2014, with mastering by Steve in 2021.

All songs written by Mark Linsenmayer, ©1998. Arrangements were for the most part by the musicians involved, overseen by Mark and usually Errol. However, in many cases parts were written or influenced by people in former line-ups of this band or Mark's previous bands: Lee Abramson, Shane Walker, Matt Miller, Bryan Breaux, Geoff Esty, Sam Ray, Cliff Kaminsky, Steve Henao, and Jeff Rosenberg. Mark worked out all the vocal arrangements.

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Mark Lint Madison, Wisconsin

Catchy, homespun tunes ranging in style from power pop to folk ballads to alt country, laced with a sense of the absurd.

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