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The Sinking and the Aftermath (Songs From the Year 2000)

by Mark Lint & The Simulacra

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1.
Write Me Off 04:58
Write me off ‘cause I’m just a wannabe Just a jerk who doesn’t deserve to breathe ‘Cause we all know what we like already And our plate of that is full Well, I’m not a shill or a corporate tool And I’m probably not what you mean by “cool” As a piece of meat, I just can’t compete Though I try like many others No one’s gonna recommend me to you And I’m not exactly what you’re used to It would take some time to get past what you’d need to To really get where I’m coming from And you say probably no. Probably no. Probably no. Probably no. Write me off to separate me from you Write me off if you feel that’s what you must do ‘Cause the burden of living is heavy, my friend And your interest is too dear for you to expend Write me off as a possible source of what’s true To go do the important things that you do Though you might want to worry about losing a line To what you’d possibly find to be part of you I’m willing I’m willing I’ve undertaken To master the styles that have molded your soul I’ve tried and I’ve tried to subvert my contempt For your deafness and blindness And meaningless forms of amusement As you watch the game with a beer Write me off ‘cause I’m just a wanna be Your taste may be cheap, but your choice is still free It takes so much less effort to coast on through Than to look out for something that’s uniquely you Write me off ‘cause that’s what people always do When confronted with something that’s the slightest bit new And I don’t know why, I can’t change your mind Though I try like many others Now, will anything make you listen? Nah. Can I get this out of my system? Yeah. And I won’t complain about being a loser anymore
2.
Axiomatic 04:04
Start now, cough me up And brush me off and mean it If it’s a new time, then treat it as such It doesn’t matter that much if you believe it And if misery is axiomatic for the likes of you and me Decide it’s cool and call it fuel and employ it sparingly Choose now, down or up Just pick a ride and mean it If it’s a nose dive, aim your luck To brush the ground and clean it And if misery stares like a tree lookin’ solid as can be Let’s call that good, and work that wood to burn us sparingly And I know that something’s happened to me But I’m missing what I’ve become But I know that if you hold on to me Then we’ll have some place to fall from And to come back to Life now, sticking up Grab it and massage it Time is fucking up Let’s you and me ménage it And if misery is axiomatic for the likes of you and me Let’s deem it fine, and seal that shrine to visit sparingly And if misery is automatic for the likes of you and me Decide it’s cool and call it fuel and use it fruitfully And if misery is nonspecific in a way it should not be Just grab me, dear, ‘cause I’ll be here to listen faithfully And if it’s all just axiomatic There’s still much to do Axiomatic Like my need for you Axiomatic that we’ll sail on through
3.
Another beautiful thing you’ll never have Most likely dangerous, guess you should be glad Themes of remorse tinged with a failure to be sad Love finds you flavorless But I guess that doesn’t have to be bad Probably, yes, probably, all these things shall pass Probably, yes, easily, things like this lose mass And if you’ve stayed here long enough You may have developed some class And courage to be reasonably lonely Give up most everything to keep your feelings pure Eschew this everything: the scent and its allure Probably, you’ve got to be somewhat approaching sure Sure enough that you’ll be reasonably lonely Certain of life’s choices will chain you to your chair Shackles to remind you that life isn’t always fair But I don’t think this is one of those cases You don’t need to feed other faces All regret entails a failure to prepare Another beautiful thing you’ll never have Go stretch this line of thought ‘till you’re approaching glad Themes of remorse have gotten tired and old and sad Love finds you flavorless, but it still might be the best you’ve had. Probably, yes, probably, all these things shall pass Probably, yes, easily, things like this lose mass And if you’ve stayed here long enough You may have developed some class And courage to be reasonably Probably, yes, probably, this wave will subside As circumstances shift and purchase you some pride Probably, yes, easily, you’ll lose the loss implied By the courage to be reasonably lonely
4.
Only once in a great while do I emit this kind of field Only once in a great while are my motives so revealed Only twice in a lifetime does one get this close to God And I’m not being born now Only once in a great while do I feel this kind of pain Only once in a great while is my future laid out plain Only once in a season do I feel such inspiration And I’m not feeling bored now And who’d ya think would drive you insane? With your folks so far away from you now And who would leave you runnin’ away When your woman is secure with you Who’s the focus now for your rage When no one bullies you or sullies you Or cheats or beats or screws or fails you? And with half a mind in study and with half off in a fog Do you expect to build an edifice while playing with the dog? You can make your own decisions; you’ve more freedom than before ‘Cause you’ve almost charred the bridges Built by ones you’ve made before Only once in a great while do my far-off days seem near Only once in a great while is my malady so clear Only once every year or so do I drop my head and cry But I’m not feeling long now Only once in a great while do I spasm when I walk Only once in a great while do I stutter when I talk Only once every few days will I exaggerate the way I feel
5.
Goddammit 04:09
I don’t need a target to be pissed off I don’t need a self to hate it I don’t feel the need to customize Contempt to fit the situation Filled to the brim with chemicals produced by only me I don’t know what it’s worth to say so I’m played out, and I’ve got to rest For years if it proves necessary Goddamn it My only refrain Gor no special reason 'Cause I’m tired of being alive today For various reasons And I thank you for the inspiration And I’m grateful for your expectations But none of it’s enoug To make my fondest dreams come true ‘Cause I don’t want another revelation And I can’t take divine illumination My problems are a part of me And I don’t want to talk about it
6.
Some time after failure has hit you again And you can’t keep on working for art or for pleasure ‘Cause indulging yourself just doesn’t hold your interest And there’s not much to know that doesn’t keep fading After your aims have been thoroughly trounced And you don’t really think they were worthwhile anyway You’ll be looking for something to fill up that hole Something worth waking up for Do what I do Praise be to you I live only for love enduring There’s nothing in this world but you Nothing in my world but you I’m betting all my energy That you won’t be wrong for me There’s nothing in my world but you Nothing left but me and you Nothing left to motivate or even make me real I don’t think you’ll go for posterity It’s not worth it I don’t think you’ll put all your stakes on your friends Though that’s a little closer to the heart I know you can’t stomach some Jesus or goddess, And immersion in politics is like dining with idiots Something that can’t be kept up long I know you want money, but not that much I know you can’t feel with a casual touch You’ve got no addictions I know of So, baby, please consider me After the madness of now goes away Whatever you do and whenever you pray And even if you never feel as crummy as I often do I live only for love endearing
7.
Not Too Late 03:21
Predictions for your life made by you and many others But mostly you just aren’t comin’ true Too bad, so sad You’ve got a few options now for who to punish Will it be you alone or you and others? Perhaps I shouldn’t speak to you But to your various addictions The failures your perceive are mostly in your mind But they could come to pass If you just set them as you seem to have to do Get off your ass. Though you seem to think you won’t You know you’ll lose completely if you don’t And you tell yourself, as you should: It’s not too late you turn back now Compulsions of a sort you understand In that you might predict what they’ll do Or what they’ll make you do Or what you make them your excuse for Who d’ya think convinced them To appear and have them cultivated? To rid your mind of strictures seemed a good idea At the time Alone now from the start it’s that way Others do not share your problems Nor should they, they’ve got enough to do What with all you put them through No one else lives beneath your skin. No one else gets you in the state you’re in It’s too late to tell them that you’re sorry Too late to see you broken-hearted Too late to fall down in despair Too late to throw hands in the air Too late to promise to be cute Too late to call a prison moot Too late to bend and bow and sway Too late to just be blown away, Too late to have a heart attack Too late to get your money back Too late to regress to a child Too late to limit something wild Too late to hypothermeate Too late to let blood permeate Your jealous rage for being you Or be imbued with something new, Too late to drive you to distraction Too late for positive reaction Whatever law you will allow It’s not too late to turn back now You betcha I will
8.
On this night before the end I’m feelin’ things that will not come again I’m more than bold enough to bend On this night before the end I’m feeling something rather small It may be nothing; I don’t feel at all Not some dead mesmerizing call I answered long ago but dropped the ball On this night before the end I’m feelin’ things that will not come again Let all good willingness descend To this night before the end V4: I keep something in my sight It may be nothing by my appetite I’ve got no dignity to fight It may be something, but it’s not alright On this night before the end I’m feelin’ things that will not come again I’m more than old enough to fend Through this night before the end Another fifteen years or so I suspected this was not a go Kept getting tall but ceased to grow Kept running out of things, but not too slow On this night before the end I’m feelin’ things that will not come again Some letters I forgot to send To this night before the end Wait a minute It may be nothing I’m too young to die Wait a minute Make it longer I’ve passed you out, goodbye On this night before the end I’m feelin’ things that will not come again I’m mostly cold enough to mend On this night before the end On this night before the end Feeling things that won’t come again On this night before the end I’m cold enough to end
9.
Sinking 03:17
none
10.
I Recall 05:13
I recall Owning a lifetime in a rented hall Always amazed at what went on in there Left unimpressed by the increasing tear I invest a lot in daily reflection But what I forgot Is ever mocking away at what I’ll never be So do you see why I'm so stuck on me? I believe If you were leaving, you'd walk out on me At least I would know But with a piece of you No one can tell what any change can do Who am I? That seems the question But the facts belie All other truths but what you used to fear Idiot missing several fingers here Some of us have long begun Some of us are growing stronger Some of us are getting older Some of us are far from hopeless Some of us are something else Some of us are all together I recall Knowing somebody who I meant to call I was erased and only sitting there Half interchanged in suicidal hair Action is not always wanting And the fatal is not always near It's an average time Most days you're gonna be just fine
11.
Bedlam 03:19
And we may all know bedlam Just by peeling back the face we have achieved And we may all find someone Who’s been looking out from somewhere up our sleeve And we may all be cried on And frightened in a way we can’t ignore ‘Cause we may all be crazy Though we might have never noticed it before I’m gonna wake up tomorrow morning And find myself in bed with someone else And I’m a rotten man, a misbegotten man Because I’ll see myself And I know that you, you might have seen it too Ah, help And we may all know bedlam... ‘Cause we may all be someone Whom we wouldn’t want to know we were for sure
12.
My Friends 03:16
My friends, please don’t desert us Though you may recall the many things that hurt us Though you’ve forgotten what it means to wish for anything at all And you’ve forgotten what it felt like to be subject to a call That doesn’t tempt you from this armpit of a world. My friends, please stay around, please Please don’t levitate away, stay on the ground, please Though you’ve forgotten how to care, if you’re young enough for air There is still use for you Don’t let us down please My friends, please hold on tightly When your life bucks you around it’s so unsightly But if you’re smarter than a lox, your place is not yet in a box So please beware your darkest edging And the darkness that it mocks My friends, please don’t desert me Though your presence in this world may well subvert me And if we try to shake you off, please don’t take personally the scoff We’re just afraid of your demeanor, but your inside is still soft Oh, please, my friends, don’t you get off here There’s so many things to hold you though they’re not clear Please hold on till you pull through, and I’ll do anything for you There is still love for you Somewhere around here My friends, please don’t desert us Though you may recall the many things that hurt us If you could just, please, stick around And just stay out of that dark ground That would be nice I promise Very nice
13.
Persevere 02:26
A light dry streak on your eyelids A low, dull throb in your ears Your breath scrapes cool through a nasal tube It feels ready You put your weight on your shoulders Bracing your arms on a wall Power beads up in your chest You feel ready If it’s the last damn thing that you ever do Something is going to get done; believe! The lucky ones are those who fight The lucky ones are those who persevere I can see, I can see in that dried up husk A spirit yearning caked with rust Start sounding out that aching void Echoes come back overjoyed Equipped with a feeling of nausea And some amazing stunts with a rope Your eyes betray what you’d like to say And the weird-ass things you hope Making the scene a commotion Acting out changes inside Shake the dust from your filthy heart and be ready

about

A long-lost studio project. Well, the songs have mostly been on my personal web page, but here streaming for the first time.

In early 2000 I had a nice batch of songs written, but my band was still finishing the previous album, and I had just a few months before my planned move away from Austin. Enter guitarist Mark Doroba, who was good enough to rapidly his record parts on all of these, and I ran sessions with three very fine Austin drummers.

Once I finished my move, this went on the pile with several other projects and mostly gathered dust. I started recording on it again from 2010-2016, and then it gathered more dust waiting for the last bits to be finished. Having decided in 2022 to simply leave off a couple of the unfinished tracks (which I already re-recorded with my band New People), plus I mixed one track just now, I can now declare this done.

There's something of a plot in this work, in that we've got a bunch of songs about frustration and fatalism crashing into a low point, after which there is life.

credits

released May 27, 2016

Mark Linsenmayer wrote all these songs and plays acoustic guitars, bass, sings, and added the occasional keyboard or bongo. I also engineered, mixed, and mastered it.

Mark Doroba played nearly all of the electric guitars and recorded his own parts.

Drums were by David Thibodeau, Armando Reyes, and Bruce Popky. At this point I can only remember with certainty in a few cases which of them played on which track.

Album art by Charles Valsechi in March 2019.

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Mark Lint Madison, Wisconsin

Catchy, homespun tunes ranging in style from power pop to folk ballads to alt country, laced with a sense of the absurd.

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