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Acoustic, lightly symphonic tune about talking oneself through the last gasps of a love triangle. Mostly written in 1994, recorded Nov. 2014.

lyrics

I just can’t think right now
Maybe if you were all here, I would have the space I need
And I’ve settled this fifteen times, right?
And I couldn’t have her if I wanted her
And why would I want her, and I’m not trying to convince myself
I wish my life would just shut up and stop trying to teach me things

I’ve reached the point of confusion now
Where my problems are all vague enough to avoid
Just a certain uneasiness sometimes
When I talk to myself in the shower at you and at her
And I don’t even know if I feel annoyed

I just can’t talk right now
Not to you, not how I want, ‘cause she might overhear
She’s not in this time zone either, but my loyalties are clear
I just want to scream at you for what you did to me
blaming me, for shaming me, for leaving me, for believing me
When I promised you I’d be OK
For trusting me, adjusting me, and pushing me away

Just admit that you loved me and I’ll let you go to hell
Then you can condemn me; you’ve been doing it so well
You might say you’re sorry, but you have no real regret
I was just an enemy that some day you’ll forget

I’d luncheon with your conscience and poison its iced tea
If I just knew where you’re at and what you ever felt for me
As long as I’m attempting to be helpful and mature
I’d love to take back every word and give them all to her
I’m sorry that I met you, and I’m sorry you’re alive
But I must admit I miss you and I wish that we were five
So that you’d be much too old for me and a creepy girl at that
And nothing I could do would make me worse than just a brat
And you’d be just irrelevant instead of all of me
She’d fill the space that would set me arguably free

I know I love her now
I knew I did before but, well, too much was obscure
But it’s settled fifteen times, right?
And I wouldn’t have you if you wanted me to
And that’s the end, at least for you
And there’s no need to convince myself
I think that I should just shut up and not over-think these things

I’ve reached the point of confusion now
Where my problems all fog up and dissipate
Leaving only a funky film here, an anonymous ring to contemplate
I’ve reached a point of confusion now, which is enough for me

credits

from Songs from the Partially Examined Life, released December 4, 2015
ML on vox/acoustic guit/bass/percussion and Daniel Gustafsson sending in synth and electric guitar tracks from Sweden. Featuring Maxx Bartko on synth theramin and Mina Linsenmayer with additional singing.

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Mark Lint Madison, Wisconsin

Catchy, homespun tunes ranging in style from power pop to folk ballads to alt country, laced with a sense of the absurd.

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