A nonsense gospel anthem about how what we actually believe doesn't fit well in a creed or slogan. I believe in bullshit... if bullshit is funny... which it is! Written around 2005, recorded in 2010 and 2011.
Lord, I believe in subtlety
And in stating things with strict exactitude
And attention to the nuance of how dumb I feel
For instance, don’t say “ouch"
Say “I perceive a tension in my left chest there
And its proximate cause was when you ripped the hair out
Leaving me lopsided and mildly less bushy and spiritually gushy
And I’m not sure why you did it
Though I could list three hundred reasons, here goes: number one..."
No! I believe in subtlety
I believe in sounding off at nothing when it really didn’t matter
What exactly got me going in the first place
I believe in a few basic truths
None of which I could possibly do justice to now
Lord, I believe
Lord, I believe in long hard work
As long as it’s obsessive and completely self-invented and unwelcome
Like stalking George Burns or writing songs
I believe in bullshit, if bullshit is funny, which it is
I believe if you hate enough and vent enough
Then everyone you meet will just adore you
I believe if I’m loud enough and I’m hoarse enough
And I’m foul enough then I will